Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
d. Jay Roach, 94 minutes

Film Plot Summary

The film opened as a spoof of Octopussy (1983) - retitled Austinpussy. During the pre-credits sequence "somewhere in Utah," "Austin Powers" parachuted into his driver-less Shaguar, and then ejected himself from the driver's seat as he blasted a pursuing helicopter with gun fire. When the camera came to rest on his face, it was revealed to be Tom Cruise ("Yeah, baby") with his motorcyclist partner Dixie Normous (Gwyneth Paltrow), who was asked: "Well, Miss Normous, shall we shag now or shag later?" Kevin Spacey also starred as the Dr. Evil character, and Danny DeVito as cigar-smoking Mini-Me. They were on a movie-set for the biopic of Austin Powers' (Mike Myers) life directed by Steven Spielberg (as Himself). Powers danced during the credits, spoofing Singin' in the Rain, and emerged from the picture in the recording studio of Quincy Jones (as Himself), and then on the soundstage of Britney Spears (as Herself) performing the music video "Boys" - until her head exploded, revealing that she was a Fembot.

The real film officially started in Dr. Evil's (also Mike Myers) Hollywood Lair, located behind the Hollywood sign, where Number Two (Robert Wagner) described how he had found another legitimate business enterprise - the Hollywood Talent Agency. However impressive it was, Dr. Evil preferred to speak of his own latest plan, describing the tale of a gold-loving Holland Dutchman in 1972 named Johann Van Der Smut, also named Goldmember: "He lost his genitalia in an unfortunate smelting accident - hence the name Goldmember." Goldmember (inspired by the villain Auric Goldfinger in Goldfinger (1964)) had invented a top-secret, cold fusion power unit for a tractor beam "powerful enough to pull a meteor to Earth. The meteor was called Midas 22. It's made of solid gold." Evil's newly-tested tractor beam was code-named Preparation H - ("Preparation H feels good, on the (w)hole," according to Evil's son Scott (Seth Green)). Evil announced he would use his time machine to travel back to 1975, pick up Goldmember and bring him back to the future (the present year of 2002) to carry out his plan.

British secret service agent Austin Powers arrived in the lair with a group of heavily-armed commandos to arrest Dr. Evil, who was then detained and questioned in front of the World Organization (WO). The justice of the World Court sentenced the guilty Dr. Evil to 400 years, along with his clone Mini-Me. They were to be held in the Maximum Security Isolation Wing. Powers, son of famed spy Nigel Powers (Michael Caine), was honored by being knighted at Buckingham Palace by the Queen, although his father was absent at the proceedings.

In Austin's swinging London pad, he sang "Daddy Wasn't There" - knowing that his father Nigel Powers had been away for many important milestones during his life. He signed an autograph for a Japanese fan named Fook Me, accompanied by her twin sister Fook Yu - they both offered him a "top secret massage." He was interrupted when British Ministries' Basil Exposition (Michael York) informed him that his father had been kidnapped - after the knighting ceremony. He was last seen on his yacht, the HMS Shag At Sea, where some of his guard-crewmen had their "privates painted (with) gold." Powers decided to visit Dr. Evil imprisoned in his Maximum Security Facility in Geneva, Switzerland - a scene parodying one in The Silence of the Lambs (1991).

[A flashback showed a young Master Powers at graduation from the British Intelligence Academy in 1958, where he shared a room with young Master Evil. Teen versions of Basil and Number Two were also there. Evil was distressed that Powers was awarded the prestigious "international man of mystery" medal, although his father was again absent.]

Austin Powers learned that "criminal mastermind" Goldmember had painted the sailors' "meat and two veg" gold - and presumably abducted his father. In exchange for turning over Goldmember, Dr. Evil bargained to be transferred to a regular prison so that he could be with his "beloved" Mini-Me. Austin agreed, but then was told that Goldmember was in the year 1975, located at the "Studio 69" Disco (spoofing Studio 54) in NYC, corner of 69th and 8th.

At the M.O.D. Time Travel Hangar, Austin traveled back to the year 1975 from the present year of 2002, to encounter Goldmember and find his abducted father, in a pink and purple "pimpmobile" time-travel device (a spoof of Back to the Future). The club was a roller-skating disco, where Austin (dressed in outrageous 70s pimp clothes) watched as Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles) (a spoof of blaxploitation female characters, such as Foxy Brown and Cleopatra Jones) performed "Hey Goldmember" - and then introduced the contortionist roller-skating villain. Foxxy revealed she was Austin's old flame, and an undercover FBI agent. He found his father in a backroom (marked "Goldmembers Only") under "heavy guard" (actually surrounded by four pretty American ladies). Austin was about to 'rescue' him when the insane Goldmember (wearing a gold jacket emblazoned with a G) brought them to his inner sanctum. Goldmember rekidnapped Nigel Powers and returned with him to the present through his time-travel portal - they were pursued immediately by Austin and Foxxy in his pimpmobile.

Back in the year 2002, Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling) visited Dr. Evil - now incarcerated in a Georgia State Prison, and told him that his neglected son Scott "wants to take over the family business...He's gotten so evil, he's even started losing his hair...he just wants to make you proud." As they voluptuously kissed when she departed, she transferred a key into his mouth. Then, Evil announced to the other inmates that they could start a riot at 8 pm to distract the guards, while he and Mini-Me walked out the front door. After singing a ghetto-rap version of "Hard Knock Life" (from the musical Annie), Dr. Evil and Mini-Me escaped.

Although Dr. Evil escaped, his organization was infiltrated by a British Intelligence mole, Number Three/The Mole (Fred Savage) - with an actual large, protruding hairy mole on his upper lip. The Mole informed Austin that Dr. Evil had moved to a new secret lair somewhere near Tokyo, Japan - revealed to be a submarine shaped as himself, cruising in Tokyo Bay - he described it as "long and hard and full of seamen." His Preparation-H tractor beam was powerful enough to pull the meteor Midas 22 into a collision course with the Earth upon entering the atmosphere. It was poised to strike and melt the polar ice caps, causing a global flood. Goldmember reminded Dr. Evil that he had the ultimate insurance policy - Austin Power's father - who was then led to the sub's brig by Mini-Me. However, Nigel convinced Mini-Me that he wasn't being treated properly, and that he was the real brains behind Evil's operation: "Just because you're one-eighth their size doesn't mean you deserve one-eighth of their respect...Is everything in proportion?" Mini-Me proved his manhood was over-sized, as Nigel commented: "You could use it as a kick-stand."

Austin and Foxxy arrived at Tokyo International Airport in his psychedelic-painted jumbo jet, where they were informed by Basil that one of Dr. Evil's henchman was spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena. There, they found Fat Bastard (Mike Myers) competing and fighting unfairly in the ring. Later in the dressing room area, Austin and Fossy snuck in (pretending to be attendants) and apprehended Fat Bastard. As Foxxy arrested him, he revealed that Japanese businessman Mr. Roboto (of Roboto Industries) was designing "some contraption" (the tractor beam) for Dr. Evil. Fat Bastard then confessed his life-long issues with being overweight and society's standards of perfection.

Meanwhile, back in Evil's submarine, Scott presented his father with a present - two sharks in a shark tank with laser beams affixed to their heads. Overcome with emotion ("You're the best evil son an evil Dad could ever ask for"), Dr. Evil displaced Mini-Me from his right-hand position ("Move down the bench"), causing his mini-cloned self to feel dejected and leave the room, after shooting everyone the finger.

Basil confirmed to Austin and Foxxy that Mr. Roboto did construct Preparation H for Dr. Evil - it was a trail they would follow that would eventually lead to Austin's father. However, at Roboto Industries' Tokyo Headquarters, Roboto claimed he had no knowledge of Nigel's whereabouts. Disbelieving, they both snuck into the Factory area of the building where they saw the tractor beam being loaded into Goldmember's transporter. Mr. Roboto also gave Goldmember a phallic-shaped golden key needed for activation and control. Goldmember had the upper hand when Foxxy held a gun on him, threatening to cause Nigel to have an "unfortunate smelting accident" as he escaped. Nigel was saved and then summoned his Mini-Cooper spy car ("It's not the size, mate, it's how you use it") for a wild chase after Goldmember through the streets of Tokyo. They crashed into a giant green Godzilla statue, as Goldmember drove into the moored submarine and got away. Nigel and Austin couldn't agree on how to proceed, so Nigel suggested: "Well, I suppose we'd better go our separate ways then."

In Austin's Tokyo Hotel, the Mole congratulated Mini-Me for switching sides, although Mini-Me was forced to fight against Austin when they first met, until the misunderstanding was clarified. After Mini-Me's defection, Austin and Foxxy (with Mini-Me now dressed as Austin) took Nigel's car, configured it as a submarine, and submerged it to pursue Dr. Evil's submarine. Evil contacted the World Organization and threatened them with his dastardly plan of a global flood, unless he was paid a ransom. He demonstrated how he wasn't bluffing by inserting the golden key into the cold fusion port and activating the tractor beam to cause a two-breasted shaped satellite to fall out of orbit. As a result of the successful demonstration, Roboto demanded a bonus from a reluctant Evil - Scott ejected Roboto into the shark tank to take care of him.

Upon entry into Evil's submarine, Austin and Mini-Me went off together to search, disguising themselves in one uniform as a single person (with Austin unsteadily perched on Mini-Me's shoulders). A medical officer demanded that they take a physical - requiring a urine sample. Afterwards they went behind a screen, where an astonished sailor watched their silhouettes (imagining that he saw Mini-Me's stand-up birth!). When confronted by the medical officer, Mini-Me escaped with a map of the vessel and met up with Foxxy while Austin was taken to the control room, where Dr. Evil insisted on showing him his plan. Everyone was surprised that Foxxy was in possession of the golden activation key - and that she and Mini-Me were holding guns on them.

Austin joined Foxxy and held a gun on Dr. Evil ("You, me and a gun"), but was interrupted when Nigel intervened and shielded Dr. Evil, and then revealed: "I have to protect my son." Austin and Dr. Evil were brothers! [A flashback showed how the two brothers were split up after a car-bombing assassination attempt. Dr. Evil was cared for by a Belgian stepfather - and his step-mother: "a 15 year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet" -- described by Dr. Evil himself in a therapy session in the first film.] As a result of this revelation, Austin lowered his gun and affirmed: "He ain't heavy. He's my brother, baby, yeah." Although there was an emotional reconciliation and a threesome hug (with Mini-Me joining), Scott angrily cried out: "Aw, come on! I mean, first, I'm not evil enough for you, and now you're gonna turn good?!...I hate you!" As he left, he vowed: "You'll pay. You'll all pay!" Dr. Evil joked about Scott's exit: "I'd like to point out that no one else in my gene pool runs like a girl."

Goldmember appeared and was still resolute to destroy the world: "Preparation H goes ahead as planned." To foul his plans, Foxxy threw the golden activation key into the shark tank, although he reached for a spare from his pants -- "My winkie was a key," he exclaimed. When Goldmember was activating the tractor beam, Foxxy misdirected his gunfire, as Dr. Evil attempted to reverse the polarity in the cold fusion control box. As the beam was projected, it reversed itself and lethally electrocuted Goldmember and exploded the meteor.

Suddenly, the film returned to the Steven Spielberg-directed Austinpussy film from the prologue, starring Tom Cruise as Austin Powers. Goldmember was portrayed by John Travolta, and the actual cast of the Goldmember film (Powers, Foxxy, Dr. Evil, Mini-Me) were in the Hollywood theatre's audience watching its projection.

When the film ended, Fat Bastard emerged from his seat explaining how he had lost weight, although his skin sagged: "I went on the Subway diet, you know, just like Jared. I've lost 180 pounds...I do have a little bit of excess skin, though...unfortunately, my neck does look like a vagina." Outside the theatre on the red-carpet as they exited, Austin and Foxxy briefly kissed as fireworks exploded in the sky.

However, in Dr. Evil's emptied lair behind the Hollywood sign, a vengeful, maniacal, bald Scott Evil vowed: "I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers." He jumped from his chair and danced crazily, as the film ended.

Film Notables (Awards, Facts, etc.)

With a production budget of $63 million, and box-office gross receipts of $213 million (domestic) and $296 million (worldwide). The three films in the series were notable, in that each one earned more than its predecessor.

With lots of cameos from major stars, including Tom Cruise, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey, Danny DeVito, Steven Spielberg, Quincy Jones, Britney Spears, Katie Couric, the entire Osbourne family, John Travolta, and Burt Bacharach, and more.

The recipient of MTV's Movie Award for Best Comedic Performance (Myers).